One of the Bible's Old Testament stories which I especially like is the story of Elijah moping in the wilderness. Maybe it seems like I am making light of his depression and discouragement by calling it moping, but I truly am not. The reason I like the story is because I so often become discouraged myself. I ask myself, "What is a country girl like me doing here in inner-city Saint Louis? Are we even making any difference here?" It is so easy to descend from these points of discouragement into self-pity, or if you will, moping.
When we first came to Saint Louis, Lester had, probably for the only time in his life, a very specific call from God to come here. I had become quite content in Chattanooga, TN, where we lived before, and God was not talking to me about moving. In short, I resisted. I did not want to come. "If God is telling you to go to Saint Louis, how come he is not telling me the same thing?" I asked my husband in a thousand different ways. He was adamant. We are going.
As time passed, I began to see that during that time, God had given me a pretty specific calling as well: Be a good wife and mother. This was a job that did not require a specific location, just a commitment to serve God and my family.
After living in a temporary apartment for nine years, an opportunity came to move even deeper into the city. By this time, through the relationships we formed with the neighborhood kids through our church's various ministries, I had caught, if not a vision for the community, at least a sense of compassion for the needs of the children here. I was eager to move, though I admit that the big yard and the promise of a garden and a chicken coop certainly did not harm my enthusiasm.
I suppose that there was a part of me which, despite the yard, saw myself as a light moving into a dark and Godless community. One of the first people I met after we bought the house, was an elderly man sitting in a lawn chair in the yard next door. As I talked to him I found out that he had lived here for many decades. He had been a tuck-pointer by trade. He kept this trade to support his real job, which was to pastor a church which could not afford to pay him. Even in his late eighties after having had a stroke, he still taught Sunday School every week. I was humbled. Elijah, in the wilderness called out to God saying, "I am the only one..." and God answered that he had kept a remnant for Himself. I moved to this neighborhood thinking that I was bringing God with me, but when I got here, I found out that he was already here.
Amen.
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